Many a Tear has to Fall Read online

  Tess was listening wide-eyed. ‘I’ve seen a pony-and-trap in my story book, and the man had a whip to gee the horse up. Did your man have a whip, Auntie Milly?’

  ‘He did, sweetheart, but he didn’t need to use it. All he did was click his tongue and the horse knew what he meant.’

  ‘It’s such short notice,’ Ann said. ‘D’you think she’ll be all booked up?’

  ‘I couldn’t tell yer that, Ann, I’ve no idea. Drop her a line today and yer’ll have an answer in a few days. I’ve got the address in the drawer somewhere.’ Milly left her chair to root in the sideboard drawer. ‘I keep saying I’ll clear these drawers out, but I never get down to it.’ Papers, combs, pencils, curlers and reels of cotton were taken out and plonked on top. ‘The trouble is, I did try clearing out one day, but everything I picked up I decided might come in useful sometime so every single thing was put back. Ken goes mad, calls me a hoarder.’ Then she held a piece of crumpled paper in the air. ‘Success, at last.’

  ‘Would you write the name and address out for me, please?’ Ann asked, smiling at her daughter, who was getting fidgety with excitement. ‘I’ll write as soon as we get home.’

  ‘I can let yer have some notepaper and an envelope if yer like, then yer can write the letter here and post it on yer way home. Yer’ll gain a day by doing that.’

  Tess was all for it. ‘Yes, go on, Mam, write to the lady now.’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t mind, Millicent?’ Ann asked. ‘I don’t want to impose on you.’

  ‘Oh, sod off, Ann, a piece of paper and an envelope is hardly imposing, for God’s sake! Yer can buy a stamp at the corner shop, pop the letter in the pillar-box outside and it’ll be on its way by dinner time.’

  Ann opened her handbag and brought out a fountain pen that had been the last present she’d received from her parents before they died. She would never let anyone else use it and carried it with her at all times. Then she sat with the paper in front of her and looked thoughtful. ‘I think George said they break up on Saturday the twenty-fourth, so it would be the twenty-sixth on the Monday.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Milly said, ‘Ken breaks up the same time. We’re having a week in Blackpool for a change.’

  Ann began to write in her neat, precise handwriting, every word correctly spelt and every letter perfectly formed. After reading it through, she folded it neatly and slipped it in the envelope. ‘I’ve asked her to let us know as soon as possible, I hope she won’t think that’s cheeky of me?’

  ‘No, Gwen won’t think that, she’s a smashing woman. Never got a smile off her face.’

  ‘I’ll make tracks, then, Millicent, and get the letter off by the dinner-time post, like you said. And thanks very much for being so helpful. George will get a pleasant surprise when he knows the wheels are already in motion. If things work out and Mrs Owen can put us up, he’ll come and see Ken to get the travel arrangements off him.’ Ann pushed her chair under the table, and after pressing the handle of her bag into the crook of her arm, she held out the letter to her daughter. ‘You can carry that for luck, Theresa.’

  Milly followed them through to the front door. ‘Ye’re welcome any time, Ann, yer know that. And Tess here, I’d offer to buy her off yer but I know yer’d tell me to get lost.’

  Ann waved and set off down the street with her daughter skipping beside her, the precious letter clutched tightly in her hand. And when they had bought a threeha’penny stamp from the corner shop, Tess was allowed to stick it on the envelope.

  ‘Can I put it in the pillar-box, Mam?’

  ‘Of course you can, love.’

  The girl put the envelope to her lips. ‘I’m kissing it twice for good luck.’ Then she slipped it into the pillar-box and listened for the flop as it fell to the bottom before reaching for her mother’s hand. It had been a lovely day so far, and she wished every day could be the same. And there was still something to look forward to. ‘Mam, you haven’t forgot your promise about letting your hair down, have you? And will you let me brush it for you, please?’

  ‘As long as you don’t start arguing if I don’t think it suits me and I want to put it back before Madelaine and your father come home.’

  But Tess had already made up her mind about her mother’s hair. She’d seen her so often in her dreams with her hair falling loose about her face, and she’d looked pretty. Not a bit like a teacher. So the girl didn’t hesitate to promise. ‘I’ll be as good as gold, Mam, honest! But I know I’m going to like it, so there!’

  Chapter Two

  When they got home, Ann made straight for the kitchen. ‘I’ll make us a pot of tea and some sandwiches. Then I’ll have to get the stew on for dinner.’

  ‘Shall I take my best dress off, Mam, in case it gets dirty?’ Tess squinted down and was pleased to see there wasn’t a mark on the pink cotton. ‘I’ll put my blue one on, shall I?’

  ‘That’s a good idea,’ Ann called back. ‘If the weather’s nice tomorrow we might go to the park for an hour, and you’ll have to look respectable.’

  ‘Will I be having lessons tomorrow?’

  ‘We’ll talk about that while we’re having our sandwiches. Run up and get changed, the kettle’s nearly on the boil.’

  Tess was down and sitting at the table when Ann came through carrying a tray with cups and saucers on, and a plate of sandwiches. ‘That was quick, Theresa, I hope you put your dress away neatly?’

  The girl nodded. ‘I’ve hung it up in the wardrobe.’ She chewed on a cheese butty while swinging her legs under the chair. ‘It’s been a nice day, hasn’t it, Mam? I like Auntie Milly, she’s very kind. And it was good of her to give you the paper and envelope, wasn’t it? I mean, if it wasn’t for her, the letter wouldn’t be on its way. For all we know, it might even be in Wales by now.’

  ‘Not yet, love. Perhaps tomorrow, with a bit of luck.’ Ann was leaning her elbows on the table and she smiled across at her daughter. ‘You asked were you having lessons tomorrow. Well, your father and I were talking about that very thing last night. We thought you should have a holiday from lessons, like Madelaine does. Not that you shouldn’t be learning at all during that time, because I think you understand that with missing school so much you are well behind other children of your age. But your father and I thought perhaps you and your sister could spend some time each day playing school. Make it into a game, but a game in which you learn something. You and Madelaine could take turns in being the teacher and the pupil. Is that something you would like, Theresa?’

  Tess laid the sandwich down, her face filled with surprise and pleasure. ‘Oh, yes, Mam, I’d love that. Maddy can be the teacher for the first day, so I can see how she does it.’ A smile came to the pale face. ‘Will we have a cane to smack each other if we get our sums wrong?’

  ‘The last thing your sister would do is raise her voice to you, never mind smacking you. She loves you very much, and would be very proud if she could help you.’

  ‘I love her too, Mam! She’s the bestest sister in the whole world. And I’ll work very hard so I get a tick by everything.’

  ‘Your father and I don’t want you to worry, Theresa, just do your best, that’s all we ask. If you find anything difficult, then tell Madelaine and she’ll go over it with you until you’ve got it clear in your mind.’ Ann reached across to pat her daughter’s hand. ‘Why don’t you surprise your dad and write him a letter telling him how much you love him?’

  ‘I could write one to you as well, Mam, ’cos I love you too! As long as you wouldn’t mind if I made any mistakes. I mean, if I got Maddy to write them for me then that would be cheating, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘I would rather have a letter you wrote yourself, even if it was full of mistakes, than one Madelaine wrote for you.’ Ann was feeling very emotional. She had never been a loving mother, never shown the two girls any affection because she didn’t know how to. But right now she felt like rounding the table and taking her younger daughter in her arms, to cuddle her in a bid to make up fo
r some of the lost time. She reined in her feelings, though, because it would mean mother and daughter ending up in tears. ‘I’ll really look forward to receiving my first letter from you, Theresa. And I want six big kisses on the bottom.’

  ‘I’ll put ten on, ’cos that’s how old I am.’ Her face was a picture of childlike innocence and it touched Ann’s heart. ‘Will you write back to me, Mam?’

  ‘Of course I will, by return post. I’ll put it through the letter-box myself to save a stamp. We have to watch our pennies now, for when we go on holiday.’

  Tess’s hazel eyes were like saucers. ‘Ooh, yeah! I’ll give you my penny pocket money to mind for me, so I can’t spend it on sweets. That means I’ll have threepence by the time we go to Wales.’ Her head wagged from side to side. ‘We’ve got a lot to look forward to, haven’t we, Mam? We’re very lucky.’

  ‘Yes, we are, love, very lucky. And now I’ll have to see to the dinner, otherwise your father won’t be feeling very lucky if he comes home and his meal isn’t ready.’

  ‘You think I’ve forgotten, don’t you, Mam?’

  ‘Forgotten what, Theresa?’

  ‘The promise you made to take your hair down. See, I haven’t forgotten.’

  Ann glanced at the clock. She should really be getting the stew on now, and peeling the potatoes and veg. But she was feeling closer to her daughter right now than she ever had. On a normal day, she would be in the kitchen while Theresa sat at the table poring over an exercise book with a worried frown on her face. It was time to start making up for those frowns, and she could spare fifteen minutes even though the thought of taking her hair down didn’t appeal one bit. ‘Come on, then, seeing as you are so determined. I’ll let you take the hair clips out, save me stretching my arms.’

  In her haste, the young girl pushed her chair back with such force it almost toppled over. She looked afraid for a second, as though expecting a reprimand. When none came she moved to stand behind her mother, her eyes seeking clips in the plaited coil. ‘I won’t hurt you, taking them out, will I?’

  ‘Not if you don’t pull a handful of hair with them. Just take them out slowly, one at a time. And don’t forget I warned you that you wouldn’t like my hair loose. If that is the case, it goes right back into a bun.’

  Tess didn’t answer. With her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth, deep concentration on her face, she drew one of the clips. It came out smoothly and she was delighted. Very soon all the clips were out and her mother’s hair was hanging over her shoulders. ‘Ooh, you haven’t half got a lot of hair, Mam! You’ve got ten times more than me. If I had pulled a handful out, you wouldn’t have missed it and I could have stuck it on my head. It’s nearly the same colour as mine.’

  ‘Except you don’t have any grey in yours, love.’ Ann could feel the hair on her shoulders and it felt strange. She couldn’t wear it like this all the time, it would get on her nerves. ‘Well,’ she turned to face her daughter, ‘are you satisfied?’

  Tess tilted her head. ‘Can I comb it, Mam, please?’

  ‘Just for a couple of minutes, Theresa, because I’ll have to make a start preparing dinner. You’ll find a comb in the left-hand drawer.’

  Tess was delighted as she gently combed the long hair, which was falling into soft waves. Her mother had never let her do anything like this before and she felt really grown-up. She could see grey hairs now, but there weren’t that many. ‘How is it that you and Maddy have wavy hair, Mam, and I haven’t?’

  Ann had her eyes closed, finding the gentle combing very soothing. ‘My mother had wavy hair, so I suppose I get it from her. But I don’t know why it hasn’t been passed on to you. Perhaps your hair isn’t in very good condition because you haven’t been in the best of health. When you get stronger, your hair might grow stronger too.’

  ‘I hope so.’ The girl was speaking the thoughts that were running through her head. ‘I’d be made up if I had long hair like Maddy’s, and I could put it in rags every night to make it curly. Then I might get to be as pretty as her.’

  Ann turned and caught her daughter’s hand. ‘Why do you say that? You are every bit as pretty as Madelaine. You have different colouring, but that doesn’t stop you being as pretty. What about Nita and Letty next door? They have different-coloured hair and eyes, but they are just as pretty as each other.’

  Tess gave that some consideration. ‘Yes, they are, I never thought of that. But they haven’t got thin faces like me. And they’re not skinny, either.’

  ‘You won’t always be skinny, love, I promise. One of these days you will blossom, like a flower does, and you’ll be beautiful. But you do need to put on some weight. To do that you have to eat more. And you know what is the best thing to give you an appetite? Fresh air, and plenty of it. So tomorrow we’re going to the park for an hour or so, and you can play on the swings while you breathe in the summer air.’

  Tess cocked her head to one side and pursed her lips. ‘I think you’re right, Mam, ’cos I feel hungry today, and I never have before. It must have been that walk to Auntie Milly’s.’ Nodding to show her mind agreed with her words, she said, ‘I must have breathed in gallons of fresh air today.’

  Ann grinned. ‘I don’t know whether you can measure air in gallons, love, because you can’t get hold of it to weigh. It’s very elusive, is fresh air.’

  ‘What does that word mean, Mam? I’ve never heard it before.’

  ‘It means something hard to find or get hold of.’

  ‘Like money? That’s hard to find, isn’t it?’

  Ann got to her feet and put a finger under her daughter’s chin so their eyes met. ‘I’m beginning to think you know a lot more than you let on, Theresa. That was a very good answer you gave, one I wouldn’t have thought of. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if one of these days you are teaching me.’

  ‘I’ll never be that clever, Mam.’ Tess was feeling very lighthearted. It had been a lovely day, one of the best she could remember. ‘Perhaps as clever as Nita next door.’

  The clock on the mantelpiece chimed the half-hour, and Ann rolled her eyes. ‘I’m going to have to leave my hair looking a mess, I’m afraid. When I’ve got the stew on we’ll see what we’re going to do with it.’

  ‘I can peel the potatoes for you,’ Tess said. ‘I promise I won’t cut the peel an inch thick and I won’t cut myself with the knife. I’ll be very careful.’

  Ann was doubtful, but a voice in her head asked her how she could expect the girl to come on when she kept her wrapped in cotton wool. ‘All right, but be very careful. Your father would blame me if you cut yourself.’

  Tess made a cross on her chest. ‘Scout’s honour, Mam.’

  So mother and daughter stood together in the kitchen, working in an atmosphere that was light, and enjoying being in each other’s company. Ann kept her eyes on Tess because the potato peeler was very sharp. And she smiled to herself when her daughter’s tongue came out of the side of her mouth and her brow creased in concentration. No potatoes had ever received such attention, or had their peel removed with such care.

  ‘There you are, Mam!’ Tess put down the knife and peered into the pan. ‘Have I done enough, or d’you want me to peel any more?’

  ‘That’s fine, love, there’s enough there to feed an army. You’ve done very well, and I’m really pleased with you. Your father’s in for a few surprises when he gets home. We’ve written away about the holiday, and you’ve helped me make the dinner! I bet he’ll think we’re pulling his leg when we tell him.’

  ‘And Maddy! She’ll get the shock of her life.’

  ‘She’ll get a pleasant surprise, love, not a shock. You see, when you get a shock, it’s usually something unpleasant.’

  ‘I’m learning a lot today, aren’t I, Mam?’

  ‘You’re not the only one, Theresa, because I’m learning a lot too! And it’s all about you! I’m finding out that you are far more clever than you let us think. And I wouldn’t be in the least surprised if you aren’t b
ack at school in the near future. And able to keep up with the other girls. Please God, eh, love?’

  Ann was taken aback when Tess threw her arms around her waist. Her own arms held away from her, she looked down on her daughter’s head, surprised by the unusual and impulsive show of affection. Her husband was greeted like this every night when he came in from work, but never before had it happened to her. But then, perhaps she hadn’t earned the child’s trust and affection.

  She put her arms around her daughter, tentatively at first, then she hugged her tight. ‘We make a good team, you and me, Theresa. We’ll have to have more days like this, eh?’

  A smiling face looked up at her. ‘I don’t think we could write off to Wales every day, Mam, to book a holiday. You see, money is elusive. Hard to get your hands on.’

  It wasn’t often that Ann laughed aloud, but she did now as she ruffled her daughter’s hair. ‘I’ve got a feeling I’m going to have a hard job keeping up with you, young lady. You seem to be picking things up very fast.’

  ‘I’m happy today, Mam, that’s why.’

  ‘Well, you can tell your father and Madelaine all about it and they’ll be happy as well. And then you can eat all your dinner, like a good girl.’ Ann took her daughter’s arms from around her waist. ‘In the meanwhile, what about my hair? Just take a good look at me, love, and be truthful. Don’t I look like the witch in your story book?’

  Tess rested her chin on a hand and studied the hair in question. ‘You don’t look like a witch, Mam, but it is too long to wear loose. None of the women in the street have hair this long. You could get it cut, though, and then you’d look nice.’

  ‘Get my hair cut! Whatever next! No, love, that I will never do.’ Ann was horrified at the very idea. ‘So now you can plait it into a bun again.’ She lifted the lid on the pan of stew, and when she saw it bubbling, she lowered the gas and left it to simmer. ‘Come on, I’ve got half an hour to spare before I need to put the carrots and potatoes on. Let’s see if you can learn to plait in that time.’