Walking My Baby Back Home Read online

  Dot stared at the tray. The whole effect was spoilt now, with more tea in the saucers than in the cups. But what the hell, wasn’t a laugh better than a cup of tea any day? So she joined in the mirth. ‘Does he also like his women to wear pink fleecy-lined bloomers?’

  ‘D’yer think I’m soft, girl? If we fancy the look of each other, yer know what I mean, like, then I’ll buy meself some of those French knickers I’ve seen in the window at Etam’s.’ A chubby hand cupped several layers of chin as Betty’s eyes sought help from the newly painted ceiling. ‘Mmm, white I think, trimmed with fine white lace.’

  ‘Oh, definitely,’ Dot said. ‘Always white for a virgin.’

  ‘Yeah, and a lovely lacy brassière to match.’ Betty’s face took on a dreamy expression as she fluttered her eyelashes. ‘I can see it now, me and Joe staring into each other’s eyes longingly. I’d be all shy and coy, of course – I mean, I wouldn’t be all over him. Not at first anyway. I wouldn’t want him to think I was a trollop.’

  Dot and Mary were sitting forward, their elbows resting on the table, their eyes wide as they waited for what was to come. They waited in vain, though, because the big woman had closed her eyes as though she was in a world of her own. ‘Well?’ prompted Dot, when she could wait no longer. ‘Go on, what happens next?’

  Betty opened her eyes and looked the picture of innocence. ‘Alas, it was not to be. It wasn’t the time for us, or the place.’

  ‘Oh, ye’re not getting away with that, Betty Mason!’ Dot said. ‘Going so far and then not telling us what happened.’

  ‘What d’yer mean, what happened? What could happen when we were standing in Irwin’s shop doorway and the world and his friend were walking past? And anyway, I didn’t fancy this Joe feller. He had a big red conk and terrible bad breath.’ She flicked an imaginary crumb off her sleeve before grinning. ‘So I’m taking the French knickers and the brassière back to Etam’s on Monday and I’m asking for a refund. I know it’s not their fault that Joe had a big conk and bad breath, but I can’t be wasting me money on things that don’t work. Then I’m going straight to church to pray that my Alec soon gets his health and strength back.’

  Dot and Mary looked at each other as they wiped the tears from their eyes. ‘She’s a nut-case, isn’t she, Dot?’

  ‘Yer can say that again, sunshine. But we’re bigger fools that she is ’cos we’ve sat here for half an hour listening to her. There’s an excuse for you, you don’t know her that well. But there’s no excuse for me, she’s me best mate.’

  Mary glanced nervously at the clock. ‘Can I drink me tea now? I don’t want to be out too long in case Tom comes home.’

  ‘I’ll have to make a fresh pot and rinse the cups out. Just look at the state of them, and me mate not even batting an eyelid.’

  ‘No,’ Mary said quickly. ‘I’ll pour the tea out of the saucer back into the cup. It’ll be all right, don’t worry.’

  ‘And I’ll do the same.’ Betty reached for a saucer. ‘No use letting good tea go to waste when it’s wet and warm.’

  ‘Yer just won’t let me be posh, will yer? It’s jealousy, that’s what it is,’ Dot sighed. ‘But time is getting on, I should be seeing to the tea. Colin’s gone to the match with John, and they’ll be home in an hour or so.’

  Mary gulped her tea down and put the cup back on the tray. ‘I’ll get going if yer don’t mind, Dot. There’ll be ructions if I’m not there when he comes home.’

  ‘I’ll see Mary to the door, girl, while you clear the mess away.’ Betty counted to three, then heaved herself up. ‘You start to wash, then I’ll dry when I come back. Otherwise yer’ll be calling me fit to burn for leavin’ yer with a mess.’

  Mary had just stepped on to the pavement when her husband came along. The colour drained from her face and her eyes darted from left to right, as though seeking a way of escape.

  ‘I’ll break yer bleedin’ neck for yer.’ Tom’s nostrils flared with anger and his eyes were blazing as he walked towards her. ‘I told yer to keep away from that cow’s house. Now get back home, quick, before I belt yer one.’

  Betty was down the step in a trice and placed herself firmly in front of him. ‘Who the bleedin’ hell d’yer think you’re talking to?’

  ‘Not to you, yer bleedin’ fat cow.’ Tom smirked. ‘Yer’ve got an arse the size of an elephant’s, d’yer know that? Now, out of me way before I belt you one as well.’

  ‘What! A bleedin’ fat cow and an arse like an elephant’s!’ Betty pushed him in the chest, forcing him to step back to keep his balance. ‘No one talks to me like that an’ gets away with it.’ Again she pushed, this time hard, sending him reeling back against the wall. ‘Ye’re a slimy little sod, Tom Campbell, lower than a snake’s belly. Go on, belt me one, I dare yer.’ Every time the man moved away from the wall, she pushed him back. And she wasn’t gentle. The hand that pushed him had her whole seventeen stone behind it. ‘Go on, belt me one. Give me an excuse to land one on yer that’ll knock yer into the middle of next week.’

  Dot came flying into the street and her mouth fell open when she took in the scene. ‘What’s going on here?’

  ‘The bold lad here called you a bleedin’ cow, and me a fat one with an arse like an elephant’s. He’s not getting away with that, Dot, by God he’s not. I’ll brush the bleedin’ street with him before I’m finished.’

  ‘I wouldn’t waste yer breath on him, Betty, he’s not worth it.’ Dot put a protective arm around Mary, and when she felt the trembling her anger rose. ‘And I certainly wouldn’t dirty me hands on him.’

  ‘Oh, I can wash me hands, that’s no problem. I might have trouble getting rid of the smell from under me nose, though.’

  ‘I’ve got no argument with you.’ Tom tried to wriggle out of it. He nodded to where Mary stood cowering, her arms folded across her swollen tummy. ‘It’s that stupid bitch’s fault. If she’d done what I told her, none of this would have happened. But she’ll not disobey me again. I’ll sort her out when I get her in the house.’

  ‘Over my dead body yer’ll sort her out.’ Betty grabbed the front of his coat, pulled him away from the wall, then slammed him back. Over and over she did this, venting her anger on a man who talked of his pregnant wife as if she were a piece of dirt, a chattel he could do what he liked with. ‘Sort me out, instead. Go on, I dare yer.’

  Tom had no intention of tangling with this woman; she had muscles on her bigger than any man he knew. ‘Just move out of the way and let me get to me own bleedin’ house.’

  The O’Connors had come out and Paddy made a move to interfere but his wife put her arm out and stopped him. ‘Leave it for now, Paddy,’ Maggie said. ‘I think Betty is more than a match for him.’

  Several of the neighbours on the opposite side of the street had come to their doors, having seen the confrontation through their windows. One of them, who lived directly opposite the Campbells, was Miss Amelia Green. Many times, from behind her net curtains, she’d seen Mary being ill-treated, so she had no love for Tom Campbell. She was an elderly lady in her eighties, small and thin, but very wiry and fiercely independent. With one hand in the deep pocket of her floral wrap-around pinny, and the other smoothing her snow-white hair, she shouted encouragement. ‘Go on, Betty, give him a go-along. If I was younger I’d do it meself ’cos he’s a bad bugger if ever there was one.’

  There were murmurs of agreement from the other neighbours. Tom Campbell wasn’t a popular man with the women in the street because of his arrogant nature. No one ever got a friendly greeting or a kind word from him. Nor was he popular with the men who frequented the corner pub. Even hardened dockers, far from being shrinking violets themselves, found his crude jokes too near the knuckle and his language offensive.

  Betty’s eyes slid sideways. ‘Take Mary back in yer house, girl. This is no place for someone in her condition.’

  ‘Come on, sunshine, Betty’s right.’ When Mary was reluctant to move, Dot used gentle force to get her up the steps and in
to the house. ‘It’ll be all right, so don’t be getting yerself all upset. It’ll blow over, mark my words.’

  As soon as the women disappeared into the house, Betty turned her attention back to Tom Campbell. With the picture of his terrified wife in her mind, she gripped the neck of his coat and shook him as though he was a rag doll. ‘Now, where’s that belt yer were going to give me? Come on, have your go first, then I’ll have mine.’

  A sly look came over the man’s face. There was no way he was going to give the fat cow a chance to belt him one because he knew she was capable of knocking him out cold. But a kick in the shins should release her hold on him long enough for him to make good his escape. Betty, however, was too quick for him. Before he’d had time to lift his foot, she’d clenched her fist and let fly. It caught Tom on the jaw and he yelped with pain. ‘Yer stupid bleedin’ cow.’ He was bent double, holding his face and moaning. ‘Yer’ve broken me jaw! I’ll have the police on yer for this.’

  With a smile of satisfaction on her face, Betty dusted her hands together as though ridding herself of something unpleasant. ‘Be my guest, yer snivelling little worm. I’ll tell them yer threatened me and I was acting in self-defence.’

  ‘I’ll back yer up on that, Betty,’ Miss Green said. ‘I heard him threaten yer.’

  ‘I’ll be a witness for yer, Betty,’ shouted the old lady’s neighbour, Mrs Armstrong. ‘With me own ears I heard him.’

  And Mr Armstrong went as far as to say, ‘I was standing next to the missus when he said it, so yer can count me in.’

  Betty waved and smiled her thanks. ‘He won’t do nothing, though, he hasn’t got the guts. He’ll crawl home like the animal he is, and lick his wounds.’ She jerked her head at Maggie and Paddy. ‘Are yer coming in Dot’s for a minute? I think this little episode calls for a meeting of the committee.’

  When John walked in with Colin, it was to find the room full. He knew immediately by the set of their faces that it wasn’t a social gathering. ‘Something happened?’

  ‘Yer could say that,’ Dot said, sighing. ‘Betty here had a fight with Tom Campbell and she gave him a fourpenny one.’

  ‘Hey, hang on a minute!’ Betty looked really put out. ‘The way you say it, anyone would think I’d just gone up to him and landed him one for no reason at all. If ye’re going to tell the story, get yer bleedin’ facts right.’

  ‘That wasn’t a criticism of yer, sunshine, ’cos I’m proud of yer. I’ll have you fighting in my corner any day of the week.’

  Betty hitched up her bosom and smiled. ‘I’ll forgive yer, girl. But someone else can tell John what happened, then I can see the whole thing through another pair of eyes. Sort of neutral, like, if yer know what I mean.’

  ‘I was the cause of it, John.’ Mary’s voice was low and unsteady. She was sitting on the couch next to Maggie, who had an arm across her shoulders. ‘My husband surpassed himself today. He managed to make a show of me, which is nothing new, and he insulted Betty and Dot. And why? Because he doesn’t like me coming in this house and has warned me against it. I think he was made up to see me leaving here, it gave him something to have a go at me for. But he’d reckoned without Betty.’ Her voice gaining strength as she spoke, Mary repeated every word and action. ‘Then Dot brought me in here and I didn’t see or hear any more, except when Tom cried out. That must have been when Betty hit him. But if ever anyone was asking for a thump, then it was Tom Campbell for the things he said.’

  It was Paddy, the quiet Irishman, who finished the tale. ‘Sure, Mary’s right, so she is. The man is an out-and-out rotter, and if the truth were known he got off lightly for insulting the women the way he did. I’ll not be repeating the words he used, that I’ll not, but his use of them showed how little respect he has for them. What Betty gave him, he had more than asked for.’

  Betty’s face was doing contortions as she leaned forward. ‘Paddy, ye’re a gentleman and I admire yer for it. But as I’m no lady, I’ll tell John what he said.’ She sat back in the chair and gazed at John. ‘Mary is a stupid bitch who had the nerve to disobey him and who he was going to sort out when he got her home. Dot, of course, is a bleedin’ cow, which we’ve all heard him say before. But he saved the best for me.’ For the life of her, Betty couldn’t keep the smile from her face. She wasn’t a proud woman and could see the funny side of it. ‘I’m a bleeding fat cow who’s got an arse as big as an elephant’s.’

  John, perched on the arm of the couch with Colin sitting at his feet, smiled back at her. ‘And a heart the same size. I take my hat off to you, Betty. My only regret is that I didn’t witness it. He must feel a right fool, being beaten by a woman.’

  ‘Ay, we’ll have less of that, John Kershaw.’ Betty feigned indignation. ‘I’ll have yer know that Elizabeth Margaret Mason is not just any woman. I can hold me own with any man.’

  Dot closed her eyes and tried to chase a thought away. Now wasn’t the time for jokes. But in the end she couldn’t resist. ‘Any man except one called Joe, who has a big red conk and bad breath.’

  Betty’s chair threatened to collapse as she rocked back and forth with laughter. Even Mary raised a smile. ‘Ah, ay, girl, that’s a bit below the belt, isn’t it?’ The big woman’s hands were pressing on her tummy to stop it from shaking. ‘The poor man can’t help how God made him, now can he?’

  Dot chuckled. ‘God doesn’t usually make them with bad breath, sunshine.’

  John could see that Maggie and Paddy were as puzzled as himself. ‘Would someone mind telling us who this Joe bloke is?’

  ‘He’s a friend of Betty’s,’ Dot giggled. ‘And now as I come to think about it, he’s to blame for all this. If it hadn’t been for him, Mary would have been out of here earlier and the queer feller wouldn’t have known the difference.’

  ‘But who is this Joe?’ John asked, puzzled. ‘And what was he doing here?’

  Dot groaned. Why couldn’t she keep her big mouth shut? ‘He wasn’t here, John – in fact he doesn’t even exist. He’s a figment of Betty’s vivid imagination and I’ll tell yer about it some other time. Right now we’ve got to think of what to do about Mary.’

  ‘Can I go and put the family’s tea out, first?’ Betty asked. ‘I mean, Mary won’t be going home yet, will she? Not while her feller’s in such a temper. And I’ll have to tell my Alec what happened before some nosy bugger gets their oar in before me.’

  ‘Yeah, you toddle off, sunshine, Mary can have some tea with us. I’ll have to get cracking because our Katy will be in before I know it.’

  Paddy reached for his wife’s hand to help her up. ‘Will it be all right with yerself, Mrs Baker, if we come back later as well? Me and Maggie want to help, so we do.’

  ‘Of course yer can come back – say about seven o’clock? But for heaven’s sake, Paddy, will yer call me by me first name? Yer make me feel as old as the hills, calling me Mrs Baker.’

  ‘Sure, I’d not be wanting to make a fine-looking woman such as yerself feel as old as the hills.’ Paddy’s smile was as gentle as his voice. ‘It’s meself that’ll be honoured.’

  Dot saw her neighbours out then made straight for the kitchen. ‘It’s only egg and chips, like it or lump it.’

  ‘Don’t do any for me, I’ll go home for a bite,’ John said. ‘You have enough on your hands without worrying about me.’

  ‘Stay where yer are, one more egg and a few chips won’t kill me. Besides, what would yer have if yer went home? Nowt, I bet. And it’s odds on yer haven’t even got a ruddy fire in the grate.’

  ‘I’m a bachelor, Dot, I’m not used to creature comforts.’

  ‘I’ll give yer a hand to peel the potatoes,’ Mary said, disappointed that John was staying because she’d been hoping to have a quiet word with Dot. ‘I may as well make meself useful instead of sitting on me backside.’

  ‘There’s no need, sunshine, I can manage on me own.’ Dot looked to where Mary was framed in the kitchen door. ‘Go and rest yer legs.’

  Mary moved tow
ards her, speaking softly. ‘I wanted to talk to yer, private, like.’

  ‘Oh.’ Dot pinched her bottom lip and was thoughtful for a while. Then she nodded her head and walked past Mary into the living room. ‘Will you do us a favour, John? Walk down to the shops for an Echo, and take our Colin with yer.’

  ‘I’ve got an Echo in my coat pocket – I bought it on the way home from the match.’

  Dot stared him out. ‘Yer’ll want to take that home with yer and I’d like one for meself. When the house is quiet I can put me feet up in front of the fire and have a good read, see what’s going on in the world.’

  ‘But you don’t read the paper, Mam,’ Colin said. ‘I’ve never seen yer.’

  ‘There’s a first time for everything, sunshine, so put yer coat back on, like a good boy, and go with Mr Kershaw.’

  ‘Yes, come on, Colin, we know when we’re not wanted.’ John had read Dot’s signal correctly. ‘I’ll treat you to a comic.’

  ‘Ay, don’t you go spoiling him, John Kershaw, ’cos he’ll come to expect it from me, and I can’t afford to be forking out all the time.’

  ‘I’m being selfish, Dot, not generous. I’d look daft going into a shop for a comic, wouldn’t I? So I’ve got a good excuse in Colin. You see, I can borrow it when he’s finished with it.’

  Dot’s pursed lips and shaking head told him she didn’t believe him for one moment. ‘Go on, yer big daft ha’porth, out with yer while I get the tea ready. And if ye’re going to Katy’s shop for the paper, tell her to come straight home, her tea will be on the table.’

  When she went back into the kitchen, Dot told Mary, ‘They won’t be out long, so yer’d better make it snappy. I’ll do the spuds while you’re talking.’

  Mary picked at the wool on the sleeves of her shabby cardigan. She was so embarrassed she didn’t know where to start. ‘D’yer remember telling me what to do if Tom ever looked as though he was going to hurt me? You know, with me knee? Well, twice I’ve done it to him, and that’s the reason for him taking off today. He’s only looking for an excuse to have a go at me.’