EG03 - Home Is Where The Heart Is Read online

  ‘Well, that’s the last of the washin’ in steep.’ Eileen came through from the kitchen, rubbing her wet hands on the corner of her pinny. ‘They’ll be ready to mangle and put out on the line in the mornin’.’ She turned one of the dining chairs to sit facing the fire and opened her legs wide to feel the heat from the glowing coals. ‘Ooh, that’s lovely! It’s freezin’ out there!’

  ‘D’you feel like a cup of cocoa, to warm you up?’ Bill asked. ‘I’ll make it.’

  ‘Nah! Just give us five minutes to rest me weary bones, then I’ll make us a sandwich.’ Eileen kicked one of her shoes off and groaned with pleasure. ‘That’s better. Me feet are killin’ me.’

  ‘Will you sit still long enough for us to talk?’ Bill asked. ‘I’ve got something to tell you.’

  Eileen closed her eyes and put her hand to her mouth, her fingers digging deep into the fleshy cheeks. Her huge tummy started to shake, and her words came out in a splutter. ‘Yer not goin’ to tell me yer in the family way, are yer, Bill Gillmoss?’

  Bill had moved to the edge of his chair, thinking Eileen was upset and crying. Now he fell back, shaking his head. ‘Aren’t you ever serious?’

  ‘Sometimes I’m dead serious, but nobody takes any notice of me, so why bother?’ Eileen wasn’t smiling now. ‘This is not laughter yer hear, Bill, it’s bloody hysterics! It’s been quite a day for me, I can tell yer. First I ’ad to pluck up the nerve to tell me mam, then start again with our Joan and Edna. I wouldn’t go through that again for a big clock.’

  ‘I’m sorry! I should have been here so we could have told them together.’

  Eileen tilted her head, gazing at him questioningly through lowered lids.

  ‘What was it yer wanted to tell me?’

  ‘That I’m ashamed and sorry about last night. I was a right bastard and no mistake.’ Bill’s eyes followed the path of his two fingers as they ran down the crease of his trousers. ‘I was an unthinking, selfish swine, and I want you to know I’m sorry. I also want you to know I’m happy about the baby. It’ll be nice to have a little one in the house again.’

  Eileen folded her arms and they disappeared from view beneath her enormous bust. With two fingers circling the deep dimples in her elbows, she said softly, ‘Hearin’ yer say that, Bill, has taken a load off me shoulders. Yer looked far from ’appy last night with a right miserable gob on yer!’

  ‘I’m forgiven, then?’ Bill smiled sheepishly.

  ‘I’ll forgive yer, but thousands wouldn’t! I don’t know about me mam an’ our Joan, though! Me mam’s not too ’appy, but that’s understandable ’cos she’s worried about me.’ Eileen stretched her leg out and kicked Bill on the shin, a wicked glint in her eyes. ‘But from the look of disgust on our Joan’s face, I’d say she thinks yer just a dirty old man!’

  ‘She’s at an awkward age. Probably just learning about the birds and the bees, and she was embarrassed. It’s romantic when you’re sitting in the picture house and Clark Gable and Myrna Loy get in a clinch, but when it’s your own mam and dad . . . well, that’s different. But when I told our Billy, he was over the moon!’

  ‘God bless ’im,’ Eileen grinned. ‘He thinks the world of you, an’ anythin’ you do is hunky-dory with him.’

  ‘I wonder what Cissie Maddox and the neighbours will think?’ Bill mused. ‘I bet they’ll be surprised.’

  ‘Sod Cissie Maddox and the neighbours! They don’t keep us, so why worry what they think?’ Eileen’s round face beamed. ‘Mary and Vera are comin’ here tomorrow afternoon, an’ I can’t wait to see their faces. They’ll be flabbergasted!’

  ‘So, it’s sod Cissie Maddox and the neighbours, eh?’ Bill said. ‘Only last night you said you’d never leave here because you’d miss them.’

  ‘Well, so I would! Honest to God, Bill, yer can be as thick as two short planks, sometimes! I can fight like mad with Cissie one day, and be all matey with ’er the next. That’s what neighbours are like. It doesn’t mean because yer ’ave a difference of opinion with them over something that they’re not good neighbours. There’s not one in this street that I couldn’t go to for help if I needed it, an’ that’s what bein’ a good neighbour is all about. So, put that in yer pipe an’ smoke it, Bill Gillmoss!’

  Chapter Two

  ‘I really enjoyed that.’ Bill dropped his knife and fork on to the empty plate and pushed it away. Leaning back in the chair he undid the top button of his trousers and let out a long sigh. ‘I’ve eaten that much I’m stored.’

  ‘Yer eyes are bigger than yer belly.’ Eileen started to gather up the empty plates. ‘Sit by the fire, ’ave a ciggie an’ relax.’

  Bill scraped his chair back. ‘Did you have a nice afternoon, chick?’

  ‘Great! Mary and Vera were made up about the baby.’

  All eyes turned when Joan stood up so quickly her chair banged into the sideboard and the tablecloth dragged askew. ‘I’m going out.’

  Eileen watched her daughter disappear down the hall and heard the front door bang behind her. ‘Oh, dear, someone’s not too ’appy.’ She shrugged her shoulders and pulled a face. ‘Still, yer can’t win ’em all.’

  ‘Here, give me the dishes.’ Maggie pushed Eileen aside. ‘I’ll do the washing up.’

  ‘Ah, yer not a bad old stick, are yer, missus!’ Eileen smiled fondly at her mother. ‘Will yer cover our Billy’s dinner with a plate for us, and put it on a pan of hot water to keep warm? He must be workin’ overtime.’

  ‘Shall I help me nan?’ A few days ago Edna would have been out of the door like a streak of greased lightning to play with her mates. But not now. She’d made up her mind to help her mother all she could until the new baby arrived. ‘Nan can wash and I’ll dry.’

  Eileen waited until she could hear the clink of dishes, then walked to the couch and flopped down. She was thoughtful for a while as her finger traced the pattern in the uncut moquette. Then she tilted her head sideways to gaze at her husband. ‘Yer know what, Bill? I’ve been that worried over the last few days, first about you, then me mam and the kids, I hadn’t given a thought to the baby. It was only when Mary an’ Vera were talkin’ about it, that it slowly dawned on me.’ Eileen ran a hand across her tummy, her happiness and excitement growing with each second that ticked by. ‘In ’ere, Bill, is our baby! A tiny human being . . . our own flesh and blood. An’ here’s us talkin’ about whether we want it or not. Of course we want it! An’ when it comes, we’ll give it all the love we’ve got to give, eh, Bill?’

  Bill could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes and he blinked them away. ‘Of course we will, chick! And we’ll have more time to devote to it than we did with the other three, because they seemed to come so quickly, one after the other.’

  ‘I’m gettin’ real excited.’ Eileen’s chubby face beamed. ‘Mary’s gettin’ Harry to bring ’er up on Saturday with some knittin’ patterns for matinee coats. An’ she’s goin’ to make me some baby blankets and pillow cases an’ things. She was that thrilled, yer’d think it was her ’aving the baby.’

  ‘The dishes are done, Mam!’ Edna, her socks hanging round her ankles, sat on the arm of the couch. ‘I heard yer tellin’ me dad that Auntie Mary was comin’ on Saturday. Are yer goin’ to teach me to knit, like yer said?’

  ‘Course I will.’ Eileen’s eyes twinkled. ‘Tell yer dad what yer want to call the baby.’

  Edna pursed her lips, her thin face serious. ‘If it’s a girl, I’d like to call it Susan, and Randolph if it’s a boy.’

  When Bill’s jaw dropped in amazement, the room filled with Eileen’s laughter.

  And Maggie, putting the clean plates away in the kitchen cupboard, smiled. Everything’s going to all right, she told herself. Then her eyes looked up, and she whispered, ‘Please God.’

  ‘I’ll cast on for you, then you can take it from there.’ Mary Sedgemoor’s fingers moved rapidly, pausing now and then to pull a length of the white wool from the ball. ‘It’s a dead easy pattern once you get the hang of it.’ />
  Edna sat beside Mary on the couch, her eyes taking in every movement, while Eileen’s eyes were on Mary’s bowed head. Pretty Mary, with her long, blonde, curly hair, vivid blue eyes, teeth like pearls and a figure as good as any film star. They’d been friends since the day Mary had started work in the munitions factory and Harry Sedgemoor, who was the supervisor in the shell department, had brought her along to work on the same machine as Eileen. She’d been Mary Bradshaw then, now she was Mary Sedgemoor. And she was Eileen’s best mate.

  ‘There you are, forty stitches,’ Mary said. ‘And you’ll have to keep counting them in case you drop one.’

  Eileen took the knitting needles in her chubby hands and groaned. ‘It’s years since I did any knittin’, I don’t know where to start.’

  ‘Give yourself a chance! Look, watch me. In . . . over . . . through . . . off! See how easy it is?’

  ‘Everythin’s easy when yer know how, kid!’ Eileen’s hands were so chubby she couldn’t keep the wool over her first finger. ‘At this rate, the baby will be ready to start school before I’ve knitted its first matinee coat.’

  ‘You’ve dropped a stitch already,’ Mary tutted. ‘Just take your time, Eileen, and you’ll soon get into it.’

  Edna’s mouth was open, her tongue hanging out as she concentrated on knitting with some old wool Mary had brought. She finished a line and ran across to Mary to show off. ‘I’ve done a row, Auntie Mary, aren’t I clever?’

  ‘That’s very good.’ Mary inspected the stitches. ‘Just keep on with plain knitting until you get used to it, then I’ll show you how to knit a line, purl a line.’

  ‘Anybody home?’

  When Eileen heard her sister’s voice, a look of relief crossed her face. ‘Come in, our kid!’

  Rene walked in to see Eileen’s huge body perched on the edge of a dining chair, the turban she had tied round her head slipped over one eye, and the knitting needles she was holding in her chubby hands pointing in every direction but the right one. ‘I wish I had a camera with me,’ Rene laughed. ‘You should see yourself.’

  ‘Go ’ed!’ Eileen glared. ‘’Ave a good laugh! I feel a right bloody fool as it is, without you addin’ yer twopenny worth.’

  ‘I was only kidding.’ Rene produced a parcel from behind her back. ‘A little present for you.’

  Eileen happily threw the knitting down, her face creased in a wide grin. ‘What is it, kid?’

  ‘Open it and see.’

  Eileen tore the paper wrapping off, letting it fall to the floor in her eagerness. ‘Oh, our Rene, they’re lovely!’ She stood up and spread the pram set on the table. There was a matching pair of leggings, a coat, bonnet and a pair of mitts, all in a pale shade of yellow. Eileen could feel her eyes fill with tears, and she brushed them away before facing her sister. ‘Thanks, Sis, they’re beautiful.’

  ‘Not handknitted, I’m afraid, because I’m hopeless with a pair of knitting needles. But I’m glad you like them.’

  ‘Honest, everyone’s been so good I can’t believe it.’ Eileen sat down and motioned to Rene to pull one of the dining chairs out. ‘The baby’s goin’ to be a proper swank.’

  ‘And so it should be,’ Mary said. ‘Only the best is good enough for a Gillmoss.’

  Rene had been eyeing Eileen, trying hard to keep a smile from her face. In the end she could keep it back no longer. ‘Have a look at yourself in the mirror, Eileen. That turban is so cockeyed, it makes you look as though you’ve been out all night on the tiles.’

  Eileen’s hands moved to straighten the offending turban. ‘D’yez know what? I’ve been wearin’ one of these since the bloody war started an’ I still haven’t found the knack of tyin’ it so it stays put.’ She whipped it off in disgust. ‘Don’t know why I wear the bloody thing anyway.’ She suddenly started to shake with laughter. ‘Imagine me new baby, openin’ its eyes for the first time an’ seein’ me in this! It would ask the doctor to put it back where it came from!’

  Eileen put her backside to the old heavy mangle and pushed it back against the wall. ‘Well, that’s it for another few days, thank God!’ She rubbed her wet hands down her pinny, then lifted the corner of it to wipe the sweat from her forehead. ‘Will you see to the fire, Mam, while I go down to the lavvy? Then I’ll make us a nice hot drink.’

  Maggie knelt in front of the fire, carefully placing pieces of coal on the dying embers with the brass tongs. They’d been so busy with the washing, they’d forgotten the fire and now it was nearly out. She’d have to hold a sheet of newspaper in front and hope the draught would help the new coals catch fire. She heard the kitchen door open and called over her shoulder, ‘There’s not much heat from this, lass!’

  When there was no reply, Maggie turned her head to see Eileen standing in the doorway, tears streaming down her screwed-up face. ‘What is it, lass?’ Maggie asked anxiously. ‘What’s happened?’

  Eileen’s body shook with sobs. ‘Mam, I’m bleeding.’

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Maggie scrambled to her feet. ‘Is it much, or just a few spots?’

  ‘It’s a big stain on me knickers,’ Eileen gulped. ‘I’m not goin’ to lose the baby, am I, Mam?’

  Maggie’s tongue flicked over her lips as she looked into Eileen’s distraught face. ‘I don’t know, lass.’ She crossed the room and took hold of her daughter’s elbow. ‘Come and lay down on the couch.’ As she eased the heavy legs sideways, Maggie’s brain was racing. If only Bill was in, or even one of the children, they could have run for the doctor while she stayed with Eileen. But they wouldn’t be home for hours and they couldn’t afford to wait that long.

  Eileen was sobbing and Maggie’s heart went out to her. ‘Does Cissie know about the baby, lass?’

  Eileen nodded. ‘Yer know what our Edna’s like, Mam! The whole of flippin’ Liverpool probably knows by now.’

  ‘I’ll nip down and see if she’s in.’ Maggie ran a hand through her hair. ‘She can sit with you while I run for Doctor Greenfield.’

  Cissie, her face full of concern, followed Maggie down the hall and into the living room. She took Eileen’s hand in hers and patted it. ‘You’ll be all right, girl, don’t worry.’

  ‘Oh, Cissie!’ Eileen looked into the eyes of the woman she’d had many a set-to with when their children were little. They matched each other in size ounce for ounce, and when there’d been a fight, neither would give way to the other. ‘I’m frightened.’

  ‘I’ve told yer, yer goin’ to be all right!’ Cissie turned to Maggie who was hovering near the door. ‘Get goin’, Maggie, I’ll see to Eileen.’

  Maggie ran as quickly as she could, and when she reached the surgery she was gasping for breath. The housekeeper who opened the door took one look at Maggie’s distraught face and shouted for the doctor. Within minutes she was seated next to him in his car and they were on their way to Eileen.

  Bill stepped down from the bus and his face showed surprise when he saw Edna waiting for him. ‘This is a nice . . .’

  ‘Me Mam’s sick.’ The words poured from Edna’s mouth. ‘The doctor’s been and me Mam’s in bed.’

  Bill could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up with fear. ‘What’s wrong?’ He had Edna by the arm now and was almost dragging her along in his haste to get home. ‘What happened?’

  ‘I dunno! Me Mam was in bed when I got ’ome from school and Nan just said she was sick. Then she told me to meet yer at the bus stop an’ tell yer to hurry.’ Edna pulled her arm free. ‘Let go, Dad, yer not ’alf hurtin’ me!’

  ‘I’ll go on ahead, then.’ Bill’s long legs had never covered the ground so quickly and when he neared their house and saw Maggie at the door, wringing her hands, his blood ran cold. ‘What is it, Ma?’

  Maggie didn’t speak until they were in the living room. She put a finger to her lips and jerked her head towards the ceiling as she closed the door. ‘Doctor Greenfield thinks Eileen might be having a miscarriage.’

  ‘Oh, no!’ Bill banged his forehead with his o
pen hand. ‘No, Ma, not that!’

  ‘It’s not certain, son, so don’t start getting upset.’ Maggie touched his arm. ‘And for heaven’s sake don’t let Eileen see you’re worried! If she gets herself all worked up it’ll only make things worse. The doctor said she’s to stay in bed and not do a thing. He’s coming back in the morning, but if we need him before, we’ve got to ring.’ Maggie raised a smile. ‘Go and cheer her up while I see to the dinner.’

  Pulling on the banister rail, Bill took the stairs two at a time, his heart thudding. When he threw the bedroom door open, it was to see Joan and Edna sitting on one side of the bed, and Billy on the other. ‘Hello, chick, how are you?’

  Eileen waved her hand. ‘Go downstairs now, kids, and let me an’ yer Dad have a talk in private. I’ll see yez later.’

  Young Billy was reluctant to move. He wanted to know what was wrong with the mother he idolised, but his nan wouldn’t tell him anything except she was sick. He wasn’t a kid any more, he was sixteen now, and that was old enough to be told what was going on. So he hovered at the side of the bed. ‘The doctor must ’ave said something, Mam!’

  ‘He doesn’t know ’imself yet, son! Perhaps when ’e comes tomorrer he’ll know a bit more.’ When Eileen looked at her son, it was like seeing Bill when she’d first met him. Billy had the same dark brown mop of hair and the same deep brown, velvety eyes. Eileen used to call them “come to bed eyes”. But young Billy was a few inches taller than his dad had been, and he was still growing.

  ‘Go down and ’elp yer nan, there’s a good lad,’ Eileen said softly. ‘Yer can come up again later.’